Spreadsheet Phil ‘Deliberately Trying To Undermine Brexit’ says Cabinet Minister

The Chancellor of the Exchequer Philip Hammond (pictured above), who carries the nickname ‘Spreadsheet Phil’ amongst his colleagues, has today been accused of deliberately trying to frustrate Brexit by another cabinet colleague in a briefing to the Daily Telegraph.

The unnamed cabinet minister said that Mr. Hammond has been treating pro-Leave members of Cabinet like ‘pirates that have taken him prisoner’

Branding the Chancellor and his Treasury “the Establishment”, the furious senior minister warned of a deep split over how to leave the European Union, launching all-out war as talks restart in Brussels on Monday.

They also revealed a plot to keep a weakened Theresa May in Number 10 in a bid to prevent an early leadership race, warning of a “critical moment” as David Davis flies out to meet his rival negotiators for discussions to set the terms of engagement.

It came as Mr Hammond hit back angrily after days of damaging accusations were leaked to the media against him, including claims that he made sexist remarks and said public sector workers were “overpaid”.

The senior Cabinet minister said:

‘What’s really going on is that the Establishment, the Treasury, is trying to fuck it up. They want to frustrate Brexit.

‘This is a critical moment. That’s why we have to keep Theresa there. Otherwise the whole thing will fall apart.’

Mr Hammond views Brexit-supporters as ‘a bunch of smarmy pirates’ who have ‘taken the Establishment prisoner’, the source said, adding that Mr Hammond is now ‘trying to break out’ and get his own way.

A spokesman for the Treasury said:

‘The Chancellor has repeatedly made clear that we will be leaving the EU in 2019. What matters is that we do so in a way that protects jobs and the UK economy.’

Westmonster Dave is the editor of alt-politics.com

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  1. Tessa Ridout says:

    He’d better fkn not.. im going to make this very public.. how dare this POS dare go against the democratic vote!!! These morons have too much power and need to be held accountable

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