OPINION: The BBC’s Red Button Of Doom!
If you dare to push the “little red button” and select “politics” – brace yourself. Because what your eyes are about to scan is a list of doom and gloom so “disastrous” that the grim reaper could be lurking behind your curtains.
‘Food prices could increase, if there’s any left on the shelf.’
‘Travel costs may rise.’
‘Our roads could become lorry parks.’
‘Mobile phones might incur roaming charges.’
‘Medicine shortages are possible.‘
The list of doom is endless.
As well as the above, the usual “Tony Blair” and his anti-democratic “People’s Vote” frightener is often squeezed in somewhere, just to send further shivers down your spine.
I dread pushing it. I mean, our public service broadcaster telling us that life is barely worth living on a daily basis frightens me terribly.
‘Dead bodies may not be moved,’ was a recent “news” article.
It’s just like one big horror movie preparing to play out in HD – and I’m concerned what the next additions to the script may be.
Will drains become blocked causing our bathrooms to stink us into unconsciousness?
Or may water be polluted with evil-acid that will eat away at our insides on consumption?
Perhaps the oxygen we inhale will be contaminated with chemicals that leave us bed-ridden, whilst simultaneously causing bed bugs to breed at rapid rates, producing mutilated offspring that will gnaw away at our rotting flesh as we lay – helpless.
And all of this because we dared to mark X next to “Leave” on a small sheet of paper two and a half years ago.
The Red Button of Doom never lets us down. I fear what next week will bring!
I suppose the closer we edge towards that “cliff”, aka Independence Day, the scare stories will become so frightening that hearts will thud and eyeballs will pop in manic fashion.
BBC’s Red Button of Doom is out to get you. The Brexit apocalypse is near.
If you dare to push it: Be warned!
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